










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 288 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 223 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1966 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,975 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2341 | 39% |
| Smokes | 789 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 2253 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 592 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $395,286 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 362 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | znn | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | Spoon | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | AWP between my legs | 55% | 47 |
| #4 | BigDogLikeMike | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | Vicious Krazyy | 52% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | znn | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | Spoon | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | AWP between my legs | 55% | 47 |
| #4 | BigDogLikeMike | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | Vicious Krazyy | 52% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vicious Krazyy | 37 | 0.0158 |
| #2 | AWP between my legs | 9 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | Spoon | 6 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | BigDogLikeMike | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | znn | 2 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vicious Krazyy | 32 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| #2 | BigDogLikeMike | 18 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #3 | AWP between my legs | 17 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | znn | 16 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Spoon | 13 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $1000 headset | +1.83 | 71 | 56 |
| #2 | znn | +0.60 | 64 | 58 |
| #3 | Spoon | -0.17 | 34 | 19 |
| #4 | Vicious Krazyy | -0.38 | 37 | 24 |
| #5 | AWP between my legs | -0.79 | 46 | 23 |





