








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
936 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,900 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1959 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1117 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1715 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1109 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $132,033 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N1kou | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Korbinian Brulee | 46% | 13 |
| #3 | !Wa¡N0X ! | 43% | 21 |
| #4 | Sherrick | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N1kou | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Korbinian Brulee | 46% | 13 |
| #3 | !Wa¡N0X ! | 43% | 21 |
| #4 | Sherrick | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | !Wa¡N0X ! | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Korbinian Brulee | 1 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | N1kou | 1 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Korbinian Brulee | 56 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #2 | !Wa¡N0X ! | 50 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | N1kou | 8 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | Sherrick | 3 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N1kou | +2.10 | 25 | 67 |
| #2 | !Wa¡N0X ! | +1.58 | 36 | 63 |
| #3 | csgoGabbaGandalf5000WBassmachine | -0.56 | 26 | 78 |
| #4 | Korbinian Brulee | -1.20 | 50 | 63 |
| #5 | Sherrick | -3.79 | 46 | 24 |





