








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1485 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 151 matches | 1,990 | |
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4101 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,857 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1224 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2333 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2378 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1922 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,207,785 of utility $261 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 457 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Gnico0 | 57% | 28 |
| #4 | Brage™ | 56% | 114 |
| #5 | Xarde | 56% | 59 |
| #6 | Gladi88 | 49% | 160 |
| #7 | NaFFEN | 42% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NaFFEN | 11 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Gladi88 | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Xarde | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Brage™ | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Gnico0 | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brage™ | 332 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | NaFFEN | 161 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Xarde | 127 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Gladi88 | 76 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ov3rR1deR | 42 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LoomBoom | +2.65 | 57 | 53 |
| #2 | Ov3rR1deR | +1.54 | 58 | 58 |
| #3 | Xarde | +1.14 | 78 | 59 |
| #4 | Gnico0 | +0.65 | 70 | 32 |
| #5 | Brage™ | -0.63 | 47 | 60 |





