










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1898 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 340 matches | 2,083 | |
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 27 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4024 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,012 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 280 | 5% |
| Smokes | 1283 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2459 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 1990 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,634,778 of utility $281 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1038 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frippen | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | aDvils | 63% | 30 |
| #3 | Pổmziツ | 61% | 51 |
| #4 | OSTFIL:D | 60% | 30 |
| #5 | LoomBoom | 57% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Leadgybuert | 53% | 83 |
| #9 | . | 52% | 25 |
| #10 | ߷ | 52% | 29 |
| #11 | draxe | 50% | 56 |
| #12 | Padd3 | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | draxe | 10 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | OSTFIL:D | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Pổmziツ | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Leadgybuert | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | M y R u | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matte | 281 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | OSTFIL:D | 105 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | Pổmziツ | 104 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | draxe | 95 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | ߷ | 81 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leadgybuert | +4.81 | 91 | 34 |
| #2 | ߷ | +2.17 | 75 | 61 |
| #3 | draxe | +1.25 | 80 | 40 |
| #4 | Gnico0 | +1.01 | 66 | 28 |
| #5 | aDvils | +0.70 | 66 | 73 |





