








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 291 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 368 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2650 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,382 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1153 | 48% |
| Smokes | 320 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 403 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 506 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $53,988 of utility $6 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 501 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frikkiebom | 31% | 71 |
| #2 | ﴾ĐȺƵȺƗ﴿ | 29% | 108 |
| #3 | 𝓕𝓻☮𝓼𝓽𝔂 | 28% | 46 |
| #4 | ムCrowdCtrl ҉҈҉҈҈҉ | 27% | 197 |
| #5 | Noobles | 27% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ムCrowdCtrl ҉҈҉҈҈҉ | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | ﴾ĐȺƵȺƗ﴿ | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | 𝓕𝓻☮𝓼𝓽𝔂 | 6 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | ✞𝔯.𝔦.𝔭✞ | 5 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | frikkiebom | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ムCrowdCtrl ҉҈҉҈҈҉ | 1654 | 0.44 | 39 min |
| #2 | ムNevermoreム | 374 | 0.41 | 8 min |
| #3 | frikkiebom | 83 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | ﴾ĐȺƵȺƗ﴿ | 68 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Noobles | 47 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Döhmpii | +4.55 | 64 | 30 |
| #2 | Noobles | +3.19 | 72 | 52 |
| #3 | ﴾ĐȺƵȺƗ﴿ | -0.11 | 48 | 22 |
| #4 | ムNevermoreム | -0.74 | 41 | 49 |
| #5 | M.I.A★彡 MYSTERY MALLARD彡 | -1.48 | 13 | 33 |





