








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 214 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 241 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2487 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,323 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 517 | 22% |
| Smokes | 843 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 663 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 300 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $115,274 of utility $18 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 287 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frikkiebom | 38% | 26 |
| #2 | ムNevermoreム | 38% | 40 |
| #3 | ムCrowdCtrl ҉҈҉҈҈҉ | 30% | 209 |
| #4 | NinjaRk | 29% | 108 |
| #5 | layaa | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ムCrowdCtrl ҉҈҉҈҈҉ | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Noobles | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | layaa | 3 | 0.0092 |
| #4 | NinjaRk | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | ムNevermoreム | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ムCrowdCtrl ҉҈҉҈҈҉ | 1705 | 0.42 | 39 min |
| #2 | ムNevermoreム | 315 | 0.37 | 7 min |
| #3 | NinjaRk | 111 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Noobles | 72 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | OneTapWeedle | 57 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noobles | +1.94 | 62 | 51 |
| #2 | OneTapWeedle | +0.76 | 75 | 67 |
| #3 | layaa | -0.08 | 45 | 19 |
| #4 | ﴾ĐȺƵȺƗ﴿ | -0.42 | 44 | 21 |
| #5 | ムNevermoreム | -1.14 | 49 | 54 |





