








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 818 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 264 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2406 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,763 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1360 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2508 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1136 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1759 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,460,841 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 177 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | linhmeister | 56% | 108 |
| #2 | Sap1ens | 52% | 284 |
| #3 | AuSantạ | 44% | 110 |
| #4 | Tralalero Tralala | 43% | 123 |
| #5 | Loczitane | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Sap1ens | 52% | 284 |
| #3 | AuSantạ | 44% | 110 |
| #4 | Tralalero Tralala | 43% | 123 |
| #5 | Loczitane | 42% | 19 |
| #6 | Veigo | 39% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AuSantạ | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | linhmeister | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Sap1ens | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Veigo | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Tralalero Tralala | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sap1ens | 1439 | 0.24 | 33 min |
| #2 | AuSantạ | 477 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #3 | linhmeister | 291 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | Veigo | 106 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Tralalero Tralala | 102 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tralalero Tralala | +1.66 | 70 | 56 |
| #2 | linhmeister | +0.80 | 83 | 65 |
| #3 | Sap1ens | +0.63 | 80 | 61 |
| #4 | Loczitane | +0.49 | 81 | 43 |
| #5 | Boy Scout | -0.18 | 63 | 41 |





