










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1456 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,513 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 572 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1180 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 890 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 871 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $590,514 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | linhmeister | 52% | 71 |
| #2 | Tralalero Tralala | 43% | 117 |
| #3 | Sap1ens | 39% | 142 |
| #4 | Boy Scout | 39% | 130 |
| #5 | AuSantạ | 37% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | linhmeister | 52% | 71 |
| #2 | Tralalero Tralala | 43% | 117 |
| #3 | Sap1ens | 39% | 142 |
| #4 | Boy Scout | 39% | 130 |
| #5 | AuSantạ | 37% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AuSantạ | 8 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Boy Scout | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | linhmeister | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Sap1ens | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Tralalero Tralala | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sap1ens | 683 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #2 | AuSantạ | 376 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #3 | linhmeister | 180 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Boy Scout | 147 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Tralalero Tralala | 112 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tralalero Tralala | +1.64 | 68 | 58 |
| #2 | Sap1ens | +0.67 | 81 | 61 |
| #3 | linhmeister | +0.12 | 87 | 64 |
| #4 | AuSantạ | -1.09 | 56 | 70 |
| #5 | Boy Scout | -1.34 | 58 | 43 |





