








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 76 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 197 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1887 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,135 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1180 | 29% |
| Smokes | 887 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1268 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 800 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,270,043 of utility $240 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 912 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AQSU | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | WΛDΞ☠ | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | TURTTEL! | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | Nug3t | 47% | 100 |
| #5 | Eehheheeheee | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -?- | 22 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | SIIKA:) | 9 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | =-^w^-= | 5 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | Nug3t | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Eehheheeheee | 4 | 0.0093 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -?- | 635 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #2 | Nug3t | 200 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | SIIKA:) | 177 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | Eehheheeheee | 100 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #5 | =-^w^-= | 78 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TURTTEL! | +3.30 | 90 | 72 |
| #2 | AQSU | +2.43 | 33 | 45 |
| #3 | SIIKA:) | +1.86 | 86 | 62 |
| #4 | =-^w^-= | +1.82 | 88 | 61 |
| #5 | -?- | +1.33 | 74 | 61 |





