








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 869 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 213 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Esplay | 29 matches | 1,913 | |
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3630 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,909 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5352 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4592 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3961 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4004 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $984,522 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 196 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 児童性的虐待者 | 71% | 38 |
| #2 | OGBobi | 70% | 20 |
| #3 | SabraCadabra | 65% | 26 |
| #4 | 簡單的♛ | 65% | 78 |
| #5 | juusdo | 59% | 186 |





