










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1529 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Esplay | 36 matches | 2,112 | |
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3191 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,915 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1403 | 13% |
| Smokes | 3465 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3065 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2982 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,066,538 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 786 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cykachu | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | OGBobi | 67% | 33 |
| #3 | 児童性的虐待者 | 65% | 71 |
| #4 | 簡單的♛ | 61% | 107 |
| #5 | SabraCadabra | 60% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kalja Keijo | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | 簡單的♛ | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Aziz - Combat Fighter | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | SabraCadabra | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Meiska | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kalja Keijo | 595 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #2 | 簡單的♛ | 188 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | SabraCadabra | 142 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | 児童性的虐待者 | 137 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Meiska | 129 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juusdo | +3.20 | 91 | 51 |
| #2 | OGBobi | +3.13 | 86 | 50 |
| #3 | .JoN.ツ | +1.62 | 79 | 55 |
| #4 | Kalja Keijo | +0.95 | 66 | 76 |
| #5 | 簡單的♛ | +0.87 | 76 | 57 |





