








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 564 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 630 matches | ||
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5616 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,242 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15271 | 39% |
| Smokes | 5001 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 12604 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 6366 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,173,730 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 798 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrDemonS | 61% | 59 |
| #2 | Dextrosa (Dextin pero bueno) | 56% | 191 |
| #3 | ✪ Kommander | 55% | 106 |
| #4 | αndrewzxp | 55% | 106 |
| #5 | _DarK | 53% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weed & Beer | 10 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Điego | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Dextrosa (Dextin pero bueno) | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | jurumito | 8 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | 60Hz ropz | 7 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Điego | 887 | 0.19 | 25 min |
| #2 | Weed & Beer | 537 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | 60Hz ropz | 488 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #4 | sVM * + | 459 | 0.28 | 11 min |
| #5 | Dextrosa (Dextin pero bueno) | 442 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jurumito | +2.20 | 63 | 65 |
| #2 | αndrewzxp | +2.09 | 76 | 76 |
| #3 | _DarK | +1.54 | 52 | 63 |
| #4 | 60Hz ropz | +1.49 | 72 | 70 |
| #5 | Yesid.peek | +1.41 | 79 | 71 |





