








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 29 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
207 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,576 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 405 | 26% |
| Smokes | 436 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 364 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 371 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $70,498 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SENSE | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Adojak | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | equ | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | Paro | 40% | 5 |
| #5 | PIPØ | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Groll | 38% | 24 |
| #7 | SeirrieS | 33% | 3 |
| #8 | renes0n | 33% | 24 |
| #9 | jpfistN | 29% | 14 |
| #10 | FainT | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | renes0n | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | equ | 1 | 0.0172 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | renes0n | 174 | 0.31 | 4 min |
| #2 | Groll | 84 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | jpfistN | 29 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Paro | 21 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #5 | SeirrieS | 17 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adojak | +4.26 | 54 | 75 |
| #2 | SENSE | +3.39 | 61 | 64 |
| #3 | FainT | +2.99 | 72 | 59 |
| #4 | equ | +1.03 | 50 | 63 |
| #5 | SeirrieS | +0.18 | 65 | 78 |





