










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
230 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 966 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 126 | 13% |
| Smokes | 309 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 296 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 235 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $88,867 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | TheGreatDong | 68% | 19 |
| #5 | Jackie Noffmen | 68% | 28 |
| #6 | Drum and Based | 67% | 3 |
| #7 | J.Dot | 59% | 39 |
| #8 | Andy | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J.Dot | 5 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Attack Bass | 1 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | Z tarfful | 1 | 0.0118 |
| #4 | Drum and Based | 1 | 0.0152 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J.Dot | 129 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | Jackie Noffmen | 124 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #3 | TheGreatDong | 28 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Andy | 7 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | Attack Bass | 6 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J.Dot | +3.83 | 77 | 71 |
| #2 | Attack Bass | +2.85 | 66 | 57 |
| #3 | TheGreatDong | +0.81 | 59 | 68 |
| #4 | Jackie Noffmen | -0.03 | 67 | 75 |
| #5 | Z tarfful | -0.72 | 10 | 64 |





