








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1289 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 510 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4628 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,688 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8374 | 39% |
| Smokes | 6682 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4220 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2412 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,783,929 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 606 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slers™ | 63% | 52 |
| #2 | Sephii | 62% | 89 |
| #3 | Uncle Johnny | 56% | 57 |
| #4 | Sir_Tuke | 53% | 136 |
| #5 | Lizwiz69 | 48% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Cocopop | 47% | 68 |
| #8 | Daddy | 47% | 49 |
| #9 | hujbnn | 46% | 84 |
| #10 | KacchanSwag | 45% | 96 |
| #11 | jbr | 26% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KacchanSwag | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Sephii | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Daddy | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Slers™ | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Sir_Tuke | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spyko | 407 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #2 | Slers™ | 245 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #3 | Sir_Tuke | 231 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | KacchanSwag | 188 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Sephii | 184 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cocopop | +2.52 | 72 | 67 |
| #2 | cOSTEUS | +1.02 | 68 | 71 |
| #3 | Lizwiz69 | +0.82 | 68 | 72 |
| #4 | Slers™ | +0.40 | 56 | 68 |
| #5 | Spyko | -0.05 | 59 | 60 |





