








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1110 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 269 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 166 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5275 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,062 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8452 | 34% |
| Smokes | 7363 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3946 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 5301 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,418,373 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 409 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | the come up ™ | 52% | 301 |
| #5 | daz | 51% | 118 |
| #6 | Saṃsāra | 50% | 145 |
| #7 | the pickems are saved | 47% | 36 |
| #8 | aNDYY | 40% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the come up ™ | 35 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Saṃsāra | 18 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | blenkz | 15 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | daz | 12 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | frizz | 4 | 0.0036 |





