










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
326 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 730 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 222 | 30% |
| Smokes | 184 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 291 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 33 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $166,100 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neo | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Beo | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Bobby Banks | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | ushanka | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | thùy vân | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ushanka | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | thùy vân | 50% | 4 |
| #6 | Vertigo :) | 48% | 27 |
| #7 | Sigismund | 45% | 11 |
| #8 | FatGus | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vertigo :) | 10 | 0.0166 |
| #2 | FatGus | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | ushanka | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Sigismund | 1 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | thùy vân | 1 | 0.0119 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vertigo :) | 170 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #2 | FatGus | 80 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Bobby Banks | 58 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | ushanka | 47 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sigismund | 32 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vertigo :) | +2.90 | 82 | 69 |
| #2 | neo | +2.76 | 65 | 20 |
| #3 | Sigismund | +2.65 | 82 | 64 |
| #4 | ushanka | +1.69 | 38 | 62 |
| #5 | Beo | +1.63 | 38 | 55 |





