








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 650 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 534 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




165 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7377 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,313 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4226 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3313 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3819 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1955 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $944,891 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 240 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nettyツ | 49% | 390 |
| #2 | MrSkrubz | 47% | 185 |
| #3 | Vzax | 46% | 147 |
| #4 | Hansyboyy | 43% | 98 |
| #5 | Ares | 41% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nettyツ | 49% | 390 |
| #2 | MrSkrubz | 47% | 185 |
| #3 | Vzax | 46% | 147 |
| #4 | Hansyboyy | 43% | 98 |
| #5 | Ares | 41% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrSkrubz | 41 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | nettyツ | 33 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Ares | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Hansyboyy | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Vzax | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nettyツ | 1595 | 0.20 | 40 min |
| #2 | MrSkrubz | 654 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #3 | Hansyboyy | 414 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #4 | Ares | 157 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Vzax | 60 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hazey | +1.75 | 67 | 46 |
| #2 | MrSkrubz | +0.25 | 50 | 55 |
| #3 | Vzax | -0.16 | 55 | 28 |
| #4 | Hansyboyy | -0.93 | 53 | 71 |
| #5 | nettyツ | -1.16 | 68 | 57 |





