








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 833 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 313 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 55 matches | ||
| Wingman | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7824 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,783 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11446 | 41% |
| Smokes | 6356 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3006 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 6975 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,595,922 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1511 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | rickroll11112 | 59% | 49 |
| #3 | Might Guy | 48% | 52 |
| #4 | Diesel | 47% | 59 |
| #5 | scrim | 43% | 65 |
| #6 | Capta1n | 42% | 74 |





