








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 470 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2612 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,712 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1552 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1036 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 988 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1136 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $907,090 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 491 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cata | 66% | 32 |
| #2 | Convex | 55% | 135 |
| #3 | mead | 50% | 54 |
| #4 | nia | 50% | 62 |
| #5 | Monkerd | 34% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cata | 66% | 32 |
| #2 | Convex | 55% | 135 |
| #3 | mead | 50% | 54 |
| #4 | nia | 50% | 62 |
| #5 | Monkerd | 34% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monkerd | 5 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Cata | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | nia | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | mead | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Convex | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mead | 213 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #2 | Cata | 158 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #3 | Convex | 114 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | nia | 114 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Monkerd | 17 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shroomjak | +3.74 | 87 | 46 |
| #2 | Cata | +2.96 | 85 | 64 |
| #3 | nia | +0.91 | 83 | 62 |
| #4 | mead | +0.01 | 75 | 54 |
| #5 | Monkerd | -3.56 | 45 | 32 |





