








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 96 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
681 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,979 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1030 | 52% |
| Smokes | 338 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 412 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 199 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $64,196 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 967 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BALLS IN MY FACE | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | The Dildozer | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | ᴳᵒᵈ | 61% | 28 |
| #4 | SGpalestinian | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | ikswo | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ᴳᵒᵈ | 61% | 28 |
| #4 | SGpalestinian | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | ikswo | 50% | 4 |
| #6 | Judah Marshawn Queedis | 50% | 6 |
| #7 | kennySmiv | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴳᵒᵈ | 26 | 0.0515 |
| #2 | The Dildozer | 12 | 0.0506 |
| #3 | SGpalestinian | 5 | 0.0336 |
| #4 | Judah Marshawn Queedis | 2 | 0.0157 |
| #5 | kennySmiv | 2 | 0.0198 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴳᵒᵈ | 138 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #2 | SGpalestinian | 65 | 0.44 | 2 min |
| #3 | BALLS IN MY FACE | 54 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #4 | ikswo | 25 | 0.31 | 0 min |
| #5 | The Dildozer | 19 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴳᵒᵈ | +5.20 | 100 | 43 |
| #2 | Judah Marshawn Queedis | +4.56 | 90 | 30 |
| #3 | silent mexican | +2.64 | 85 | 61 |
| #4 | ikswo | -0.40 | 64 | 55 |
| #5 | SGpalestinian | -0.43 | 94 | 43 |





