








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1160 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 397 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9535 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,734 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8030 | 48% |
| Smokes | 4649 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1724 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 2331 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,128,089 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1483 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ikswo | 57% | 196 |
| #4 | kennySmiv | 56% | 119 |
| #5 | frog 4 dinner | 53% | 283 |
| #6 | Pizzapieboy | 52% | 111 |
| #7 | FartMasterWu | 40% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frog 4 dinner | 65 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | 76561198208141780 | 42 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | ikswo | 34 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | kennySmiv | 25 | 0.0106 |
| #5 | Pizzapieboy | 19 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ikswo | 1303 | 0.32 | 36 min |
| #2 | 76561198208141780 | 1280 | 0.30 | 28 min |
| #3 | kennySmiv | 386 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | frog 4 dinner | 243 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #5 | Pizzapieboy | 153 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Judah Marshawn Queedis | +3.24 | 88 | 57 |
| #2 | 76561198208141780 | +1.81 | 79 | 59 |
| #3 | FartMasterWu | +1.14 | 83 | 41 |
| #4 | frog 4 dinner | +0.38 | 74 | 32 |
| #5 | ikswo | -0.23 | 79 | 70 |





