








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 98 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
574 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,559 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 751 | 29% |
| Smokes | 647 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 642 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 519 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $130,135 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 581 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeroxVII | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | TazZe ヅ | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | KJAER ☂ | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | SALKCIN | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | Pawii | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | dubzkjiッ | 50% | 4 |
| #9 | Puffy highs ♡ | 45% | 11 |
| #10 | Lill - Bambino - Bish - Dk | 40% | 5 |
| #11 | MinX ^__^ | 33% | 6 |
| #12 | M1scha | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BudderBall | 6 | 0.0258 |
| #2 | M1scha | 1 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1scha | 52 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #2 | BudderBall | 50 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #3 | zeroxVII | 37 | 0.32 | 1 min |
| #4 | MinX ^__^ | 31 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | KJAER ☂ | 23 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeroxVII | +5.21 | 58 | 77 |
| #2 | dubzkjiッ | +3.26 | 64 | 66 |
| #3 | KJAER ☂ | +2.81 | 56 | 66 |
| #4 | Puffy highs ♡ | +2.31 | 68 | 66 |
| #5 | BudderBall | +2.11 | 66 | 59 |





