








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 285 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1007 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,627 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 811 | 31% |
| Smokes | 273 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 728 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 815 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $251,169 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mrtvolka☠Volavka | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | vojtěch | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | Človeko de Ape | 56% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mrtvolka☠Volavka | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | vojtěch | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | Človeko de Ape | 56% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Človeko de Ape | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | vojtěch | 2 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | Mrtvolka☠Volavka | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Človeko de Ape | 99 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #2 | Mrtvolka☠Volavka | 16 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | vojtěch | 12 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vojtěch | +1.82 | 40 | 66 |
| #2 | Človeko de Ape | +0.81 | 34 | 43 |
| #3 | a❤ | -2.09 | 32 | 44 |
| #4 | Mrtvolka☠Volavka | -2.80 | 8 | 62 |





