








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 812 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 336 matches | ||
| Wingman | 135 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 91 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4514 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,056 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4850 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4848 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5338 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3020 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $449,609 of utility $39 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 127 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Človeko de Ape | 53% | 36 |
| #2 | tomashorcik | 49% | 293 |
| #3 | ◢︎h4lzmn◣︎™ | 48% | 75 |
| #4 | nnn | 47% | 45 |
| #5 | Swawg4n | 41% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tomashorcik | 25 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Minnie♥ | 17 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | ◢︎h4lzmn◣︎™ | 11 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | Mrtvolka☠Volavka | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Swawg4n | 4 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tomashorcik | 1347 | 0.22 | 31 min |
| #2 | Mrtvolka☠Volavka | 400 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #3 | Swawg4n | 209 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | ◢︎h4lzmn◣︎™ | 158 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Minnie♥ | 118 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swawg4n | +5.12 | 79 | 63 |
| #2 | tomashorcik | +3.50 | 72 | 67 |
| #3 | ◢︎h4lzmn◣︎™ | +0.45 | 35 | 66 |
| #4 | Človeko de Ape | +0.20 | 34 | 40 |
| #5 | nnn | -0.10 | 37 | 50 |





