








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 362 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 157 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2428 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,730 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 769 | 21% |
| Smokes | 576 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1359 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1026 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $924,609 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1367 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poopy John | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | Fukajo | 59% | 29 |
| #3 | sunshine | 57% | 35 |
| #4 | buba | 50% | 20 |
| #5 | Jogabrio | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poopy John | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | Fukajo | 59% | 29 |
| #3 | sunshine | 57% | 35 |
| #4 | buba | 50% | 20 |
| #5 | Jogabrio | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sunshine | 89 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | Fukajo | 68 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | Jogabrio | 47 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | buba | 43 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Poopy John | 31 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chonka | +1.50 | 83 | 39 |
| #2 | sunshine | -0.04 | 62 | 50 |
| #3 | Poopy John | -0.92 | 43 | 53 |
| #4 | Fukajo | -1.11 | 44 | 51 |
| #5 | Jogabrio | -2.29 | 29 | 50 |





