








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2155 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,335 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4679 | 50% |
| Smokes | 2072 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1409 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1175 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $294,959 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 466 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeppe | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | hahaa | 68% | 22 |
| #3 | Denzel | 67% | 67 |
| #4 | aLLU ヅ | 65% | 31 |
| #5 | SeinäHemuli | 64% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Denzel | 67% | 67 |
| #4 | aLLU ヅ | 65% | 31 |
| #5 | SeinäHemuli | 64% | 96 |
| #6 | HemuliB | 55% | 64 |
| #7 | KustihQ | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SeinäHemuli | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Denzel | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | KustihQ | 3 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | HemuliB | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | aLLU ヅ | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Denzel | 176 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | SeinäHemuli | 139 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | HemuliB | 102 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | hahaa | 81 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | aLLU ヅ | 64 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeppe | +2.52 | 61 | 74 |
| #2 | shit game | +1.81 | 84 | 84 |
| #3 | Denzel | +1.17 | 63 | 71 |
| #4 | aLLU ヅ | +1.09 | 70 | 60 |
| #5 | SeinäHemuli | +1.09 | 64 | 53 |





