








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 508 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 532 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 118 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6768 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,266 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4303 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5184 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5048 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3731 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,819,346 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 295 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KuiQula | 76% | 38 |
| #2 | Jenx | 71% | 41 |
| #3 | Jeppe | 60% | 70 |
| #4 | Denzel | 60% | 121 |
| #5 | SeinäHemuli | 58% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Jeppe | 60% | 70 |
| #4 | Denzel | 60% | 121 |
| #5 | SeinäHemuli | 58% | 117 |
| #6 | hahaa | 58% | 99 |
| #7 | töns¶ | 57% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | töns¶ | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | SeinäHemuli | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Jenx | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Denzel | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Jeppe | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | töns¶ | 571 | 0.27 | 19 min |
| #2 | Denzel | 550 | 0.23 | 17 min |
| #3 | hahaa | 393 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #4 | SeinäHemuli | 266 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | Jeppe | 230 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KuiQula | +6.38 | 81 | 63 |
| #2 | hahaa | +1.23 | 76 | 71 |
| #3 | töns¶ | +0.81 | 76 | 82 |
| #4 | aLLU ヅ | +0.46 | 71 | 61 |
| #5 | Denzel | +0.14 | 58 | 74 |





