








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 343 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 185 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 147 matches | ||
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3283 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,650 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2709 | 17% |
| Smokes | 4050 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4929 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3962 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,317,177 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1072 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Je t'ai eu | 40% | 60 |
| #8 | Valturion | 37% | 41 |
| #9 | DrakeDraw | 37% | 52 |
| #10 | β Toxikgirl β | 33% | 40 |
| #11 | SheitaniΓ±a | 27% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Je t'ai eu | 11 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | codza | 7 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | Cloamker | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Trish__ | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | β Toxikgirl β | 4 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Je t'ai eu | 316 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #2 | Trish__ | 285 | 0.28 | 9 min |
| #3 | β Toxikgirl β | 154 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | Cloamker | 149 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | DrakeDraw | 145 | 0.14 | 3 min |





