








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 250 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 200 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2323 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,885 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2103 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1464 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1868 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1450 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $816,205 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Аларик | 63% | 38 |
| #2 | Adolf Twinkler | 53% | 51 |
| #3 | Lad Ali | 50% | 68 |
| #4 | Suolakala | 49% | 51 |
| #5 | Naapuri | 49% | 197 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Lad Ali | 50% | 68 |
| #4 | Suolakala | 49% | 51 |
| #5 | Naapuri | 49% | 197 |
| #6 | jonttubiceps | 46% | 108 |
| #7 | Oulasteri | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Naapuri | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Lad Ali | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Adolf Twinkler | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Аларик | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Naapuri | 527 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | jonttubiceps | 211 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Suolakala | 138 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Аларик | 81 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Adolf Twinkler | 80 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Аларик | +2.99 | 72 | 68 |
| #2 | Suolakala | +0.65 | 64 | 57 |
| #3 | jonttubiceps | +0.41 | 73 | 62 |
| #4 | ⭕⃤ Matukka;) | +0.18 | 83 | 60 |
| #5 | Naapuri | +0.13 | 58 | 65 |





