








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1505 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Faceit | 124 matches | ||
| Wingman | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2999 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,647 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2534 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2505 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3321 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2287 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,499,956 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 492 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lad Ali | 61% | 49 |
| #2 | jonttubiceps | 60% | 157 |
| #3 | Аларик | 59% | 41 |
| #4 | Naapuri | 55% | 340 |
| #5 | ⭕⃤ Matukka;) | 53% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lad Ali | 61% | 49 |
| #2 | jonttubiceps | 60% | 157 |
| #3 | Аларик | 59% | 41 |
| #4 | Naapuri | 55% | 340 |
| #5 | ⭕⃤ Matukka;) | 53% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Naapuri | 17 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | ⭕⃤ Matukka;) | 6 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Lad Ali | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | jonttubiceps | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | Аларик | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Naapuri | 772 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #2 | jonttubiceps | 296 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | ⭕⃤ Matukka;) | 163 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Аларик | 116 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Lad Ali | 45 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jonttubiceps | +1.27 | 73 | 63 |
| #2 | Аларик | +1.01 | 68 | 72 |
| #3 | Adolf Twinkler | +0.88 | 81 | 61 |
| #4 | Naapuri | +0.08 | 66 | 62 |
| #5 | ⭕⃤ Matukka;) | -0.69 | 82 | 60 |





