








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 229 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2181 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,431 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1252 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1783 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1207 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1189 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $502,811 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZeeQue | 53% | 40 |
| #2 | mink schlachten | 51% | 169 |
| #3 | Pilf1ngerツ | 48% | 153 |
| #4 | Panda jr. | 44% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZeeQue | 53% | 40 |
| #2 | mink schlachten | 51% | 169 |
| #3 | Pilf1ngerツ | 48% | 153 |
| #4 | Panda jr. | 44% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mink schlachten | 65 | 0.0187 |
| #2 | ZeeQue | 9 | 0.0110 |
| #3 | Pilf1ngerツ | 8 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mink schlachten | 264 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | Pilf1ngerツ | 162 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | Panda jr. | 98 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | ZeeQue | 82 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EN DØD MINK | +1.99 | 68 | 66 |
| #2 | mink schlachten | +0.85 | 78 | 62 |
| #3 | ZeeQue | +0.03 | 51 | 54 |
| #4 | Panda jr. | -0.16 | 60 | 63 |
| #5 | Pilf1ngerツ | -2.54 | 63 | 53 |





