








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 196 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1980 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,208 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 982 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1517 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1319 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1390 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $543,812 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 120 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EN DØD MINK | 51% | 169 |
| #2 | ZeeQue | 49% | 41 |
| #3 | Pilf1ngerツ | 48% | 119 |
| #4 | ItzNima | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | Panda jr. | 42% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EN DØD MINK | 51% | 169 |
| #2 | ZeeQue | 49% | 41 |
| #3 | Pilf1ngerツ | 48% | 119 |
| #4 | ItzNima | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | Panda jr. | 42% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EN DØD MINK | 46 | 0.0133 |
| #2 | ZeeQue | 9 | 0.0106 |
| #3 | Pilf1ngerツ | 7 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EN DØD MINK | 361 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | Pilf1ngerツ | 127 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | ZeeQue | 82 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Panda jr. | 58 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | ItzNima | 20 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EN DØD MINK | +1.77 | 67 | 65 |
| #2 | ItzNima | +1.69 | 82 | 67 |
| #3 | mink schlachten | +1.09 | 79 | 61 |
| #4 | ZeeQue | -0.32 | 50 | 56 |
| #5 | Panda jr. | -0.66 | 59 | 64 |





