








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 318 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
928 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,490 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 331 | 22% |
| Smokes | 181 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 488 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 490 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $335,786 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 188 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kuroshinia | 68% | 41 |
| #2 | Algoren | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | GODE DE CHAIR | 63% | 49 |
| #4 | BeuhBaR | 61% | 41 |
| #5 | TESTICULE EN PUTRÉFACTIONS | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kuroshinia | 68% | 41 |
| #2 | Algoren | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | GODE DE CHAIR | 63% | 49 |
| #4 | BeuhBaR | 61% | 41 |
| #5 | TESTICULE EN PUTRÉFACTIONS | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GODE DE CHAIR | 17 | 0.0180 |
| #2 | BeuhBaR | 13 | 0.0161 |
| #3 | kuroshinia | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Algoren | 3 | 0.0087 |
| #5 | TESTICULE EN PUTRÉFACTIONS | 2 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeuhBaR | 74 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #2 | GODE DE CHAIR | 45 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | TESTICULE EN PUTRÉFACTIONS | 44 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | kuroshinia | 18 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | Algoren | 12 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeuhBaR | +4.61 | 73 | 42 |
| #2 | TESTICULE EN PUTRÉFACTIONS | +3.20 | 55 | 52 |
| #3 | kuroshinia | +2.37 | 72 | 24 |
| #4 | GODE DE CHAIR | +0.03 | 60 | 49 |
| #5 | Algoren | -0.99 | 64 | 28 |





