








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1645 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 97 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




83 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4285 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,502 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1659 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1945 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1398 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1500 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,339,163 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 518 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FlavQnc | 122 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #2 | TESTICULE EN PUTRÉFACTIONS | 86 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | GODE DE CHAIR | 80 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | romishe88 | 72 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Yumïto | 45 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeuhBaR | +5.45 | 73 | 45 |
| #2 | kuroshinia | +2.61 | 66 | 25 |
| #3 | TESTICULE EN PUTRÉFACTIONS | +2.47 | 55 | 40 |
| #4 | FlavQnc | +1.43 | 65 | 37 |
| #5 | GODE DE CHAIR | +1.00 | 58 | 54 |





