








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 84 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
681 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,239 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 739 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1005 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 869 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 626 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $196,877 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ Velttonen | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | Aquitos | 64% | 28 |
| #3 | flouZi | 63% | 19 |
| #4 | GANTdog | 62% | 47 |
| #5 | jACSU. | 62% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | jACSU. | 62% | 13 |
| #6 | Diodi | 55% | 20 |
| #7 | -tEME | 54% | 13 |
| #8 | Paatero | 45% | 11 |
| #9 | ;kaazaa | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GANTdog | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Paatero | 1 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | jACSU. | 1 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GANTdog | 197 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | Diodi | 93 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | ;kaazaa | 72 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #4 | Aquitos | 58 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | flouZi | 28 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -tEME | +4.22 | 82 | 56 |
| #2 | ;kaazaa | +3.79 | 49 | 87 |
| #3 | Aquitos | +0.69 | 74 | 64 |
| #4 | Franklin | +0.17 | 69 | 75 |
| #5 | flouZi | +0.14 | 76 | 76 |





