








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 83 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 94 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1089 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,715 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 928 | 25% |
| Smokes | 926 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 849 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1012 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $220,109 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | River 327 | 38% | 8 |
| #9 | TheOrc | 31% | 13 |
| #10 | oubas | 25% | 12 |
| #11 | Mikedc01 | 22% | 9 |
| #12 | Kyle Rittenhouse | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joonthom | 277 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #2 | dAVEY | 63 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | ikwashier | 22 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #4 | Resortas | 20 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #5 | -Ryuj1n | 20 | 0.27 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Resortas | +2.85 | 87 | 52 |
| #2 | oubas | +1.87 | 96 | 57 |
| #3 | Joonthom | +1.81 | 77 | 65 |
| #4 | dAVEY | +1.60 | 77 | 62 |
| #5 | Kyle Rittenhouse | +0.48 | 88 | 23 |





