








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Wingman | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2239 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,096 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2586 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1572 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1700 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1238 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $480,970 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr_Tuna | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | Bobze♡ | 58% | 26 |
| #3 | Panda | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | Smurf_S | 54% | 198 |
| #5 | Slyd3s | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Bobze♡ | 58% | 26 |
| #3 | Panda | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | Smurf_S | 54% | 198 |
| #5 | Slyd3s | 48% | 25 |
| #6 | Watermelon | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smurf_S | 28 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Panda | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Watermelon | 2 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Mr_Tuna | 2 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | Bobze♡ | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smurf_S | 266 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #2 | Panda | 64 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | Watermelon | 41 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mr_Tuna | 30 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Slyd3s | 19 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr_Tuna | +2.76 | 80 | 32 |
| #2 | elf 187 | +1.96 | 54 | 50 |
| #3 | Smurf_S | +0.96 | 59 | 48 |
| #4 | Slyd3s | +0.44 | 82 | 45 |
| #5 | Watermelon | -1.01 | 68 | 45 |





