








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 407 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 510 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5458 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,417 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6727 | 28% |
| Smokes | 8585 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3389 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 5716 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,461,101 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1009 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xangas | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | Aydanza | 58% | 45 |
| #3 | Bydero | 49% | 41 |
| #4 | Cakkum | 45% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xangas | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | Aydanza | 58% | 45 |
| #3 | Bydero | 49% | 41 |
| #4 | Cakkum | 45% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cakkum | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Bydero | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Aydanza | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Xangas | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cakkum | 119 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | Aydanza | 73 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Bydero | 66 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Xangas | 34 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bydero | +1.31 | 72 | 57 |
| #2 | Sladsie | +0.81 | 81 | 66 |
| #3 | Aydanza | +0.59 | 73 | 54 |
| #4 | Xangas | +0.29 | 66 | 46 |
| #5 | Cakkum | -1.52 | 32 | 37 |





