








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 362 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2782 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,188 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2624 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3253 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1896 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2415 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $506,948 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 238 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HabeinenimTee | 81% | 21 |
| #2 | ☂Nagelbrett☂ | 66% | 50 |
| #3 | RuffledRowlit | 64% | 95 |
| #4 | lonertraum | 63% | 19 |
| #5 | XX_Quickscoper_Boss_MLGEisbär_X | 59% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☂Nagelbrett☂ | 9 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | HabeinenimTee | 9 | 0.0203 |
| #3 | RuffledRowlit | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Corona Assassin | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | XX_Quickscoper_Boss_MLGEisbär_X | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☂Nagelbrett☂ | 304 | 0.29 | 7 min |
| #2 | lonertraum | 112 | 0.30 | 3 min |
| #3 | RuffledRowlit | 108 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | XX_Quickscoper_Boss_MLGEisbär_X | 63 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | HabeinenimTee | 21 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toyo | +4.32 | 83 | 62 |
| #2 | lonertraum | +2.55 | 81 | 63 |
| #3 | XX_Quickscoper_Boss_MLGEisbär_X | +1.46 | 64 | 62 |
| #4 | ☂Nagelbrett☂ | +0.26 | 63 | 67 |
| #5 | RuffledRowlit | +0.22 | 69 | 37 |





