








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 211 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 184 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




123 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3408 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,687 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1318 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1163 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1608 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1598 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,340,055 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 445 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toyo | 81% | 21 |
| #2 | XX_Quickscoper_Boss_MLGEisbär_X | 64% | 44 |
| #3 | ☂Nagelbrett☂ | 54% | 191 |
| #4 | ☛♿NagelBrett♿☚ | 38% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toyo | 81% | 21 |
| #2 | XX_Quickscoper_Boss_MLGEisbär_X | 64% | 44 |
| #3 | ☂Nagelbrett☂ | 54% | 191 |
| #4 | ☛♿NagelBrett♿☚ | 38% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☂Nagelbrett☂ | 51 | 0.0128 |
| #2 | ☛♿NagelBrett♿☚ | 15 | 0.0199 |
| #3 | XX_Quickscoper_Boss_MLGEisbär_X | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Toyo | 2 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☂Nagelbrett☂ | 1067 | 0.27 | 22 min |
| #2 | ☛♿NagelBrett♿☚ | 204 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #3 | XX_Quickscoper_Boss_MLGEisbär_X | 131 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Toyo | 72 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☛♿NagelBrett♿☚ | +1.75 | 71 | 62 |
| #2 | ☂Nagelbrett☂ | +1.51 | 72 | 63 |
| #3 | Toyo | +1.46 | 82 | 73 |
| #4 | HabeinenimTee | +1.33 | 68 | 40 |
| #5 | XX_Quickscoper_Boss_MLGEisbär_X | +1.31 | 61 | 62 |





