










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 474 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1558 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,157 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 523 | 17% |
| Smokes | 336 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 1229 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1069 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $262,078 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 225 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CheapThriLLS | 47% | 15 |
| #2 | Vacuum Butt Cannon | 46% | 13 |
| #3 | Swatman | 44% | 18 |
| #4 | Oxi... | 42% | 110 |
| #5 | V3loc1ty | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | iRumy3 | 36% | 44 |
| #10 | DrMaybee | 31% | 136 |
| #11 | Nessa | 31% | 52 |
| #12 | CaptnD | 28% | 54 |
| #13 | Jaguaar VIII | 25% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oxi... | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | DrMaybee | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | V3loc1ty | 3 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | CaptnD | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Al | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oxi... | 359 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | iRumy3 | 168 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | DrMaybee | 156 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | CheapThriLLS | 130 | 0.41 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ulukai VIII | 122 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iRumy3 | +6.51 | 84 | 81 |
| #2 | Vacuum Butt Cannon | +5.06 | 83 | 48 |
| #3 | Laron | +4.58 | 50 | 57 |
| #4 | Al | +3.79 | 48 | 58 |
| #5 | CheapThriLLS | +2.29 | 60 | 85 |





