








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 634 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 518 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4478 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,155 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6119 | 24% |
| Smokes | 8273 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 5846 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4917 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,454,926 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | Al | 36% | 149 |
| #18 | SlickWinna | 34% | 61 |
| #19 | CaptnD | 33% | 317 |
| #20 | carteroxi008 | 31% | 136 |
| #21 | V3loc1ty | 29% | 124 |





