








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1588 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 241 matches | ||
| Faceit | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5848 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,491 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5090 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3615 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2574 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3212 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,685,765 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 825 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | korvik | 57% | 42 |
| #9 | Enileff | 57% | 172 |
| #10 | Sauce Castillo | 57% | 76 |
| #11 | ✪ joy | 55% | 53 |
| #12 | Väike PD | 54% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Puding | 423 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | Enileff | 398 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #3 | mike | 227 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | τ4nel ⚠ | 159 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | Sauce Castillo | 148 | 0.09 | 4 min |





