










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 351 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 202 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2927 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,423 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1222 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2032 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1930 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2239 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $356,354 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 422 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HurgleDurgle | 61% | 31 |
| #2 | ~ z t o t h e s | 54% | 24 |
| #3 | CheddarWrld | 53% | 34 |
| #4 | vegan hater2 | 48% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HurgleDurgle | 61% | 31 |
| #2 | ~ z t o t h e s | 54% | 24 |
| #3 | CheddarWrld | 53% | 34 |
| #4 | vegan hater2 | 48% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vegan hater2 | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | CheddarWrld | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | HurgleDurgle | 2 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vegan hater2 | 103 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | CheddarWrld | 86 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | HurgleDurgle | 69 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | ~ z t o t h e s | 41 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ~ z t o t h e s | +3.68 | 59 | 50 |
| #2 | vegan hater2 | +0.93 | 73 | 35 |
| #3 | HurgleDurgle | +0.88 | 30 | 68 |
| #4 | Zenos | -0.61 | 42 | 30 |
| #5 | CheddarWrld | -0.67 | 69 | 39 |





