








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
88 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 136 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 34 | 25% |
| Smokes | 19 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 48 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 35 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $32,421 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Totally Not a Femb♥y | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Burger | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Hog Leader | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | freddie gibbs | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Totally Not a Femb♥y | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Burger | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Hog Leader | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | freddie gibbs | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hog Leader | 2 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | freddie gibbs | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | freddie gibbs | 61 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #2 | Hog Leader | 36 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | Burger | 17 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #4 | Totally Not a Femb♥y | 6 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burger | +6.64 | 74 | 73 |
| #2 | freddie gibbs | +3.94 | 91 | 58 |
| #3 | Totally Not a Femb♥y | -1.29 | 48 | 31 |
| #4 | Hog Leader | -1.37 | 56 | 56 |
| #5 | Balls In my Face | -3.41 | 52 | 43 |





