










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
766 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,794 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 377 | 21% |
| Smokes | 487 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 747 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 183 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $484,619 of utility $211 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 194 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yare Yare Daze | 49% | 39 |
| #2 | Ljap | 46% | 39 |
| #3 | soul 是不存在 | 44% | 96 |
| #4 | Пальма Mutter | 40% | 40 |
| #5 | sir le blan | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Пальма Mutter | 40% | 40 |
| #5 | sir le blan | 33% | 6 |
| #6 | mariusz tabaka | 33% | 6 |
| #7 | KI||I3unn1 | 30% | 10 |
| #8 | Pho3n1Xx | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soul 是不存在 | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Ljap | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Пальма Mutter | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Pho3n1Xx | 2 | 0.0126 |
| #5 | mariusz tabaka | 1 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yare Yare Daze | 118 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | Ljap | 101 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Пальма Mutter | 89 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | KI||I3unn1 | 13 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | soul 是不存在 | 12 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KI||I3unn1 | +2.53 | 63 | 63 |
| #2 | Pho3n1Xx | +0.95 | 50 | 33 |
| #3 | soul 是不存在 | +0.88 | 30 | 31 |
| #4 | Ljap | +0.58 | 45 | 77 |
| #5 | Пальма Mutter | +0.28 | 26 | 41 |





