








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 343 matches | ||
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2821 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,538 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 693 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1738 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3631 | 56% |
| Molotovs | 476 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $320,942 of utility $33 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drifter | 64% | 265 |
| #2 | feiccaJK | 56% | 180 |
| #3 | Acnologia | 52% | 115 |
| #4 | Racing Car Team || Maxi | 49% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drifter | 64% | 265 |
| #2 | feiccaJK | 56% | 180 |
| #3 | Acnologia | 52% | 115 |
| #4 | Racing Car Team || Maxi | 49% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | feiccaJK | 22 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | Acnologia | 10 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Drifter | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Racing Car Team || Maxi | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | feiccaJK | 243 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | Acnologia | 213 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Drifter | 77 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #4 | Racing Car Team || Maxi | 27 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drifter | +5.55 | 95 | 35 |
| #2 | feiccaJK | +3.79 | 70 | 33 |
| #3 | Racing Car Team || Maxi | +1.22 | 39 | 35 |
| #4 | Acnologia | +0.33 | 49 | 30 |
| #5 | Intel Core Ultra 9 285K | -1.61 | 63 | 28 |





