








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6470 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 204 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 174 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 115 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 40 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




146 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11683 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,769 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2497 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3661 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3884 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2727 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,126,561 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3416 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | catie | 74% | 251 |
| #2 | jai | 72% | 75 |
| #3 | MLG Buttercup | 68% | 605 |
| #4 | MLG Bubbles | 62% | 146 |
| #5 | Spong2 | 57% | 188 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | catie | 74% | 251 |
| #2 | jai | 72% | 75 |
| #3 | MLG Buttercup | 68% | 605 |
| #4 | MLG Bubbles | 62% | 146 |
| #5 | Spong2 | 57% | 188 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MLG Buttercup | 125 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | Spong2 | 63 | 0.0168 |
| #3 | MLG Bubbles | 48 | 0.0170 |
| #4 | catie | 26 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | jai | 7 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MLG Buttercup | 3153 | 0.26 | 70 min |
| #2 | Spong2 | 567 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | MLG Bubbles | 488 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | catie | 300 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #5 | jai | 145 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Strongchaff | +4.47 | 78 | 37 |
| #2 | MLG Buttercup | +2.06 | 74 | 53 |
| #3 | jai | +0.53 | 64 | 46 |
| #4 | Spong2 | -0.63 | 59 | 34 |
| #5 | MLG Bubbles | -1.23 | 31 | 39 |





