








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 835 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2835 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,473 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1718 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1629 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1460 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 666 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $901,448 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 409 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | catie | 65% | 26 |
| #2 | pepperoni | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | Strongchaff | 57% | 188 |
| #4 | MLG Buttercup | 57% | 162 |
| #5 | MLG Bubbles | 52% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | catie | 65% | 26 |
| #2 | pepperoni | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | Strongchaff | 57% | 188 |
| #4 | MLG Buttercup | 57% | 162 |
| #5 | MLG Bubbles | 52% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MLG Buttercup | 49 | 0.0148 |
| #2 | Strongchaff | 29 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | MLG Bubbles | 21 | 0.0216 |
| #4 | catie | 7 | 0.0150 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MLG Buttercup | 660 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #2 | Strongchaff | 147 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #3 | MLG Bubbles | 140 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | pepperoni | 95 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | catie | 21 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Strongchaff | +2.99 | 70 | 33 |
| #2 | MLG Buttercup | +1.91 | 72 | 46 |
| #3 | Spong2 | -0.00 | 60 | 34 |
| #4 | MLG Bubbles | -0.91 | 34 | 31 |
| #5 | pepperoni | -1.43 | 65 | 63 |





